QUOTE
It all started when Jesus found this mystical box, called the Erfalumir. He was intrigued by the glowing radiance of the Erfalumir and was overcome by curiosity about what was within the box (it was made of Kryptonite which prevented him from using his x-ray vision on it). When he opened it, he was stunned by what he found, for inside the box was a credit card. Now, this was no ordinary credit card; it had been enchanted by the Roman god Athena. Jesus, who was amazed by this advanced technology, reached in and took the card. what he found taped to the back of the credit card was puzzling, a map. Maybe even more puzzling than the map was the strange scribbles he found written on the back -- "http://www.ebay.com".
Jesus instantly knew what he had to do; he must follow that map no matter where it lead him. So that very night he packed his bags and fled Italy where Hitler and the Roman Catholic Church were holding him captive. He ran like he had never run before, so fast that the braces on his legs (he had polio) broke off. Now he normally would have fallen, but the devine power of Athena came upon him and gave him the power to go on. He made a deal with Davy Jones (who would later be known as the devil because he gets all the souls not worthy of Heaven) and got the Black Perl.
He set off toward the west and followed the map all the way to the United States. He landed in New York and walked all the way to Washington where he met Bill Gates. Now, Bill gates had respect for Jesus' long journey and hooked him up with a Mac. Jesus knew he couldn't go home to Italy, so he sailed to Bethlehem.
About a week after he got to Bethlehem, a centurion came to him pleading for help, his frind was paralyzed and suffering. All of the sudden, Jesus had a brilliant idea; in fact it was so smart that his eyes were opened and he realized he was God. He hooked up his Mack and typed the wierd scribbles into the web browser. He found and bought a light pole that had been stolen from the mystical land of Narnia. The combind power of Narnia, Athena and Jesus came so close to that of Chuck Norris that it brought tears to Chuck Norris' eyes. Jesus caught the single tear from his eye in a vile and made the centurion drink it. The instant the tear touched his toung, he was cured of his illness.
Sadly, when Jesus got the bill for the light pole, he didn't have the money to pay. Because he was unable to pay, he had to borrow money from the state. The inability to pay the state his debts lead to his crucifixion.
Jesus instantly knew what he had to do; he must follow that map no matter where it lead him. So that very night he packed his bags and fled Italy where Hitler and the Roman Catholic Church were holding him captive. He ran like he had never run before, so fast that the braces on his legs (he had polio) broke off. Now he normally would have fallen, but the devine power of Athena came upon him and gave him the power to go on. He made a deal with Davy Jones (who would later be known as the devil because he gets all the souls not worthy of Heaven) and got the Black Perl.
He set off toward the west and followed the map all the way to the United States. He landed in New York and walked all the way to Washington where he met Bill Gates. Now, Bill gates had respect for Jesus' long journey and hooked him up with a Mac. Jesus knew he couldn't go home to Italy, so he sailed to Bethlehem.
About a week after he got to Bethlehem, a centurion came to him pleading for help, his frind was paralyzed and suffering. All of the sudden, Jesus had a brilliant idea; in fact it was so smart that his eyes were opened and he realized he was God. He hooked up his Mack and typed the wierd scribbles into the web browser. He found and bought a light pole that had been stolen from the mystical land of Narnia. The combind power of Narnia, Athena and Jesus came so close to that of Chuck Norris that it brought tears to Chuck Norris' eyes. Jesus caught the single tear from his eye in a vile and made the centurion drink it. The instant the tear touched his toung, he was cured of his illness.
Sadly, when Jesus got the bill for the light pole, he didn't have the money to pay. Because he was unable to pay, he had to borrow money from the state. The inability to pay the state his debts lead to his crucifixion.
Moral of the story: don't buy on eBay
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